When people ask my most embarrassing moment, I usually don't know what to say. Either I don't get embarrassed easily or everything embarrassing that's ever happened to me is on a pretty equal level. But now, I finally have an actual "most embarrassing moment."
It's Saturday and I'm taking my History 202 midterm in the Testing Center. I've been up all night every day for the past week. I changed my address to the library. Just kidding. But close.
But I am blowing through this test. I feel good about all the multiple choice and I'm working on the short answer and essay questions. About halfway through writing about the Opium War (a conflict between Great Britain and China in 1839 that resulted in the entrance of foreign imperialist powers into China. Sorry, couldn't help myself) when my papers and scantron fell of my desk.
I leaned over to grab them but they were just out of reach. I stuck out my foot to see if I could drag them a little closer. Yikes. My toenails hadn't been painted in over a week. So I reached down again. I reached just a little farther......
My desk tipped over. Into poor unsuspecting kid taking his religion test. The noise was loud, everyone looked at me, and the poor kid had to push me back into place and steady my desk. And the worst part? I wasn't even done with my test. I had a whole essay to finish. I just wrote something down really quick and ran out of there as fast as I could.
I got a 95% on the test though. That has to count for something, right?
Showing posts with label Awkward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awkward. Show all posts
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Things I Think are Funny but No One Else Does: Part 1
I feel like if someone to were write my biography the longest chapter would be called "Things Melissa Thinks Are Funny But No One Else Does." It's kind of the theme of my life.
Here's some back story. So my mom has a lot of siblings (four sisters, one step sister and four half brothers). This means A LOT of cousins ranging in age from 29 to 8 months. I'm cousin #9. Being cousin #9 means two things:
1. I am the fourth girl cousin aka there was no chance in heck that I would ever get to be Mary in the cousin Nativity pageant. I was always some animal or, if I was lucky, a shepherd. In my future family, Mary will be an equal-opportunity position, but I digress.
2. I was not a part of the exclusive "big cousins."
"The Big Cousins" were everything I aspired to be. They actually got to drive Grandpa Thom's tractors instead of riding in the shovel. They were the first in line to ride Uncle Brad's motorcycle. When we went to the pool they were put in charge of buying and distributing the snacks. They were an elite group, and I wanted in.
All the grown ups were oblivious to the fact that a mere seven months separate my cousin Brian (big cousin) and I (not big cousin). Seven months! That's nothing! Surely there was room for one more big cousin? Apparently not. If I wanted to be a big cousin I had to earn my way in.
The big cousins were big into jokes and I figured if I could prove how hilarious I was, I could be accepted as a big cousin. My perfect opportunity came at Thanksgiving. All the big cousins were outside playing. When they knocked on the door to come in, I opened it wide so they could see me and then slammed it and locked it.
I couldn't stop laughing. What a hilarious joke. It didn't really occur to me that it was freezing outside. I couldn't wait for them to come in and praise me for the excellent trick I just played on them. I waited and waited. They didn't come in. A while later my aunt came downstairs. She wasn't laughing. Apparently locking your cousins outside in the cold is frowned upon in my family. I was stuck at the little kid table. Again.
I was still cracking up.
Here's some back story. So my mom has a lot of siblings (four sisters, one step sister and four half brothers). This means A LOT of cousins ranging in age from 29 to 8 months. I'm cousin #9. Being cousin #9 means two things:
1. I am the fourth girl cousin aka there was no chance in heck that I would ever get to be Mary in the cousin Nativity pageant. I was always some animal or, if I was lucky, a shepherd. In my future family, Mary will be an equal-opportunity position, but I digress.
2. I was not a part of the exclusive "big cousins."
"The Big Cousins" were everything I aspired to be. They actually got to drive Grandpa Thom's tractors instead of riding in the shovel. They were the first in line to ride Uncle Brad's motorcycle. When we went to the pool they were put in charge of buying and distributing the snacks. They were an elite group, and I wanted in.
All the grown ups were oblivious to the fact that a mere seven months separate my cousin Brian (big cousin) and I (not big cousin). Seven months! That's nothing! Surely there was room for one more big cousin? Apparently not. If I wanted to be a big cousin I had to earn my way in.
The big cousins were big into jokes and I figured if I could prove how hilarious I was, I could be accepted as a big cousin. My perfect opportunity came at Thanksgiving. All the big cousins were outside playing. When they knocked on the door to come in, I opened it wide so they could see me and then slammed it and locked it.
I couldn't stop laughing. What a hilarious joke. It didn't really occur to me that it was freezing outside. I couldn't wait for them to come in and praise me for the excellent trick I just played on them. I waited and waited. They didn't come in. A while later my aunt came downstairs. She wasn't laughing. Apparently locking your cousins outside in the cold is frowned upon in my family. I was stuck at the little kid table. Again.
I was still cracking up.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Vietnamese Coffee Shops
So people always ask me "What's a typical day of work like?"
I never know what to say.
For instance, today we were in San Jose, just looking around for restaurants like usual. It's about 10:30 am and we pull into a shopping center that had two restaurants. On the right was a tacqueria and on the left was a little Vietnamese coffee shop. Well, I assumed that's what it was because it had a few words in Vietnamese and then a logo of a coffee cup. My fellow interns decided to talk to the tacqueria and I went on a solo mission to the coffee shop.
When I first walked in there was a black wall instead of an open area or counter. As I turned around the corner, I saw black boxes that had what looked like a glow stick on top of them.
"They probably don't have styrofoam here," I thought to myself and as I looked up I saw a woman in the corner serving a group of men drinks. It took one look to realize that she was NOT wearing anything substantial on the top half of her body. I made a face very similar to this:
And booked it right out of there.
So a typical day at work includes going to a topless Vietnamese coffee shop. At 10 am.
#mylife
I never know what to say.
For instance, today we were in San Jose, just looking around for restaurants like usual. It's about 10:30 am and we pull into a shopping center that had two restaurants. On the right was a tacqueria and on the left was a little Vietnamese coffee shop. Well, I assumed that's what it was because it had a few words in Vietnamese and then a logo of a coffee cup. My fellow interns decided to talk to the tacqueria and I went on a solo mission to the coffee shop.
When I first walked in there was a black wall instead of an open area or counter. As I turned around the corner, I saw black boxes that had what looked like a glow stick on top of them.
"They probably don't have styrofoam here," I thought to myself and as I looked up I saw a woman in the corner serving a group of men drinks. It took one look to realize that she was NOT wearing anything substantial on the top half of her body. I made a face very similar to this:
And booked it right out of there.
So a typical day at work includes going to a topless Vietnamese coffee shop. At 10 am.
#mylife
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Dear Melissa
So today after the game I went to go take my Music 101 test. When I finished I ran down the stairs; I was so excited to finally listen to something that wasn't "Ride of the Valkyries." As I passed the the windowsill I saw a note with "Melissa" written on the outside. I didn't think twice, I grabbed it. I opened the door, saw my grade (A-, oh yeah), and walked out the door to read the note.
"Dear Melissa," it read, "I love you so much. I'm glad you are MY Melissa." What the. This note was not for me. By this time I was across the street and started down the hill. I couldn't keep the letter, it was from some guy named Paul. What if the other Melissa never learned Paul's true feelings? What if I was single-handedly responsible for ruining Paul and Melissa's future happiness and the lives of their children and grandchildren? I had to bring the letter back.
I hoped that no one would see me as I put the letter back on the sill. I PRAYED that the other Melissa wasn't there when I put it back. Of course I was only half lucky. When I went back to the testing center there were three other people in the windowsill area. I awkwardly put the paper back, and muttered something stupid like "Whoops, guess it wasn't for me" and booked it out of there.
"Dear Melissa," it read, "I love you so much. I'm glad you are MY Melissa." What the. This note was not for me. By this time I was across the street and started down the hill. I couldn't keep the letter, it was from some guy named Paul. What if the other Melissa never learned Paul's true feelings? What if I was single-handedly responsible for ruining Paul and Melissa's future happiness and the lives of their children and grandchildren? I had to bring the letter back.
I hoped that no one would see me as I put the letter back on the sill. I PRAYED that the other Melissa wasn't there when I put it back. Of course I was only half lucky. When I went back to the testing center there were three other people in the windowsill area. I awkwardly put the paper back, and muttered something stupid like "Whoops, guess it wasn't for me" and booked it out of there.
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