Things I Think are Funny but No One Else Does: Part 1

I feel like if someone to were write my biography the longest chapter would be called "Things Melissa Thinks Are Funny But No One Else Does." It's kind of the theme of my life.

Here's some back story. So my mom has a lot of siblings (four sisters, one step sister and four half brothers). This means A LOT of cousins ranging in age from 29 to 8 months. I'm cousin #9. Being cousin #9 means two things:
1. I am the fourth girl cousin aka there was no chance in heck that I would ever get to be Mary in the cousin Nativity pageant. I was always some animal or, if I was lucky, a shepherd. In my future family, Mary will be an equal-opportunity position, but I digress.

2. I was not a part of the exclusive "big cousins."

"The Big Cousins" were everything I aspired to be. They actually got to drive Grandpa Thom's tractors instead of riding in the shovel. They were the first in line to ride Uncle Brad's motorcycle. When we went to the pool they were put in charge of buying and distributing the snacks. They were an elite group, and I wanted in.

All the grown ups were oblivious to the fact that a mere seven months separate my cousin Brian (big cousin) and I (not big cousin). Seven months! That's nothing! Surely there was room for one more big cousin? Apparently not. If I wanted to be a big cousin I had to earn my way in.

The big cousins were big into jokes and I figured if I could prove how hilarious I was, I could be accepted as a big cousin. My perfect opportunity came at Thanksgiving. All the big cousins were outside playing. When they knocked on the door to come in, I opened it wide so they could see me and then slammed it and locked it.

I couldn't stop laughing. What a hilarious joke. It didn't really occur to me that it was freezing outside. I couldn't wait for them to come in and praise me for the excellent trick I just played on them. I waited and waited. They didn't come in. A while later my aunt came downstairs. She wasn't laughing. Apparently locking your cousins outside in the cold is frowned upon in my family. I was stuck at the little kid table. Again.

I was still cracking up.