The Hunger Sickness

When I was little, I believed in this disease called the "hunger sickness."

Let me explain.

My first experience with the "hunger sickness" was when I was about five. We had just moved to Colorado and were living with my grandmother while our house was being built. That was a great time. I walked to school and had two teenage uncles that would watch me perform on a daily basis. My uncle Justin worked at pizza place and knew how to toss the dough in the air like they do in the movies. I was amazed.

Anyway, when I was five I was a pretty picky eater. If it wasn't mac and cheese, hamburgers, or bean burritos I pretty much hated it (I still love all those things, by the way). One day my grandma made something I didn't like and refused to eat.

I woke up in the middle of the night STARVING. I tried to get out of my bed, but my legs were so weak that I couldn't walk. I was convinced that I was dying and needed food stat. I crawled slowly to the stairs that led upstairs to the kitchen.

I didn't make it to the stairs. I fell asleep in the middle of the floor. I crawled some more. Fell asleep. Crawled up a few stairs, fell asleep again. By the time I made it to the top, it was early morning and my uncle Jason was up getting ready for school. He walked in on me face down at the top of the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

I looked up at him and whispered in a pathetic and heart-wrenching voice:

"Jason. I have the hunger sickness. I can't walk. I'm dying."

He propped me up on one of the kitchen stools and gave me a Carnation Instant Breakfast. I drank it like it my first meal in years. Then I feel asleep on the kitchen counter.

I still get the "hunger sickness." Except now it's usually solved by heading to McDonald's and ordering a #1 with a large drink.